Why We Did It

Kevin here.

In a previous post, I took a shot at answering one of the questions we get most often about our almost 3-month journey to Europe.  This time I'll take a shot at answering a related -- and more difficult -- question:  why are you doing this?

We get the why question fairly often.  Not as often as the how question, interestingly enough.  I guess people assume they know why we would do something crazy (well, crazy for us) like home-school for a year and take our kids traveling all over Europe.  And they're probably right.  At least partially.  But we've had some very thoughtful friends ask as why enough for us to know that it's a great question to try and answer.  It clarifies things, even for we who have to answer the question.  And we've found that our answers have been encouraging to others, albeit in different ways for different reasons.  So... it seems like something we should talk about.

First thing, you should know that the answer to why we've done this is complicated.  There is not one reason, but several.  The second thing is that discussing some of those reasons is difficult due to the nature of those reasons.  We have some reasons born out of sadness and loss.  We have others that are more closely aligned with hope and vision.  Like I said, it's complicated.  But we'll do our best to sort through some of it, as imperfectly as we can.

First... well, come on!  Who doesn't want to go to Europe?!  And who wouldn't want to go for as long as they could?!  There really is something spectacular about heading to the Old World to see and experience it's beauty, it's history, it's architecture, it's food, it's people...  Taking a trip to Europe is something that Kelly and I have discussed for years.  But we never dreamed that we could do something like this for quite so long.  Still, the desire to go was there.  It's just... well, you know how it is.  There are always other things to do, other ways to spend your time and money.  There's school for the kids.  There's work.  And traveling with kids is hard enough.  Going to the grocery store can be a hassle with kids.  So, go to Europe?  Really?

So one of the biggest reasons we decided to take this trip now is because our kids are at a great age.  Daniel is 13, Justin 11, and Anna 8.  We felt like those ages were perfect to begin exploring some of the wider world and really take it in in formative ways.  They go to a really good school -- Intown Community School -- where doing something like this would fit in perfectly with what they are already learning and doing: exploring this great world, hands on.  For example: in 5th grade they study and build a model of a medieval castle.   The kids love it.  What a cool thing it would be, then, to have Justin explore a real medieval castle during his 5th grade year?  And last year Daniel got to play a role in a school production of Shakespeare's The Tempest.  It was great.  Wouldn't it be cool, then, to go see The Tempest on stage at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford-Upon-Avon after touring Williams Shakespeare's birthplace?  And that's just two examples out of dozens.

We wanted to take this trip then, in part, to have much of what they are learning in school and in life right now leap off the page into their hearts and minds in an even deeper way.  So we decided to take the leap and homeschool them for this year so that we could make it happen.  The relatively young ages of the kids made homeschooling seem more doable for us than I think it would seem if they were older.  Plus, we decided that it would be best to do this before our oldest started high school.  Once you start the high school years it seems far more difficult to pull something like this off.  Not impossible,  just more difficult.  So, doing this right before Daniel's 8th grade year seemed ideal: he could be back for the 8th grade and begin to prepare for High School.  And Justin would be back in time to begin Middle School.

No time is perfect.  But this was about as good as it was going to get for us.

But, besides being a good time to take the kids to Europe... it was a good time for Kelly and I to go too.  For several reasons.

The first of those reasons is one that, oddly enough, I can't go into too many details about.  It's just the nature of things, I'm afraid.  Suffice it to say that the past few years have been very difficult.  Some things in our lives -- relationships, areas of meaningful life investment, etc. -- disintegrated and disappeared over a long period of time; and with some general sense of violence, if I can put it that way.  Trauma.  It felt like "life capital" -- if you will -- was lost (or so it seems).  No, this has nothing to do with our marriage, so don't worry.  But it was all still in areas of our lives where we invested deeply of ourselves, where we found purpose and meaning.  And -- over and after several agonizing, exhausting years -- it was gone.

I'm going to guess that -- regardless of the specific circumstances -- many of you have had a similar time of loss in your lives (and maybe more than one).  So... you know the result: confusion, exhaustion, disorientation, frustration, anger.  And the sense of those feelings and experiences gets heightened by how prolonged your exposure to your circumstances was.

Now I know why the cliche back when I was a kid was that people went to Europe to "go find themselves." Remember that?  I get that now.  The disorientation that comes with loss is painful and palpable.  And there is something about... what is it?  Is it escape?  Is it a search for something to fill up that which has is now gone?  All of that?

So... I'm not going to lie.  Kelly and I were ready to blow town.  Time was right for us to take a break from the normal for us and get some distance.  Maybe we would have time to rest, to spend time together as a family, to begin to see some emotional and spiritual reserves replenished.  Maybe we could catch a fresh vision of what was next for us.  So... we took this trip for those reasons too.

And then in July of last year Kelly's father passed away.  Mac was a strong, healthy man.  Until he wasn't any more.  From his diagnosis of cancer to his death was 7 weeks.  His decline and death was surprising and relatively sudden.  It was a real blow to his family.  For Kelly it was more loss in an even deeper, more personal way.

We were already deep into our travel planning when Mac passed away.  But it confirmed our thinking and again brought into relief for us what we already know: time is passing quickly.  We all have friends who get sick and family members who are getting older.  Certain opportunities are now gone. And they aren't coming back.  So, through all of this loss,  we discovered a newfound sense of urgency.  If we want to take a trip like this... we should do it now, while we can.  We simply don't know what the future holds for us, what God's got in mind.  For us, for our kids.  Maybe a lot.  Maybe only just a little bit more.  We should do this while it's still called "today."

It's important to note that we weren't doing this thinking, this reflecting, this planning alone.  Kelly and I both have close friends that we've been able to walk through all of this with.  And so a lot of our we're thinking of doing this crazy thing with homeschooling and traveling talk with them was met with enthusiastic Yes, you should do this responses.

For me, in particular, I've had two good friends who have walked closely with me over the past few years.  They know who they are.  We would meet, talk, drink very good beer, even smoke a cigar (yes, Mom, a cigar :-) ) every now and then.  I can't begin to describe how valuable these relationships have been to me -- for my sanity, my emotional health, my hopefulness -- and I can only hope that I've provided a small percentage of that value in return.  But one of the most incredible things we've done together is to dream big dreams for each other.

Part of it for us was reading a book.  It's a book called The 4-Hour Workweek by guy named Tim Ferriss.  Fair warning:  I don't necessarily buy into the whole book.  A reviewer once wrote that Tim Ferriss reminded him of "Tony Robbins crossed with a meth addict."  And I can see that.  But what Ferriss did for my friends and me was to help guide us into deeper discussions about what our lives are about, how we live them, and the things that hold us back from doing greater things.  These were great discussions.  (And we're not through having them.)

I'd like to think that you would agree that those are important questions, regardless of how you get to them.  And it was out of wrestling for answers -- some of them, at least -- that this trip was partly born.  And also where wrestling for answers intersected with our Christian faith.

How?  Simple: because death, loss, and sorrow are wrong.  Just wrong.  It's not the way it's supposed to be.  Death and injustice have entered the world through sin.  You and I... we feel it.  We know in our bones that nothing is quite the way it ought to be.  Every experience, every moment, every relationship falls short somehow -- and often in ways that we can't explain, but still know to be true.  As one of my friends says, it's a sad, sad world.  And it is.  It's not all sad, of course.  But it's too sad, too dark, too sorrowful.

But it's into this sorrow that Jesus comes bringing with him a Kingdom.  That's the Gospel for me: this good news that Jesus has come.  There's more to the Gospel then this, of course.  But there's not less than this.  He's going to put away sin, sorrow, and death and restore me -- and everything -- to the way it ought to be.  This is what justice looks like.

What does that have to do with taking a trip with your family to Europe?  Well, for me, everything.  Dreaming big dreams is a part of pushing against the fallen nature of this world to see -- if even for just a fleeting moment -- something bigger, full of joy.  It's an anticipation today of some future reality, when the world is put to rights by Jesus.

Here's a different way to look at it.  One of my two friends I mentioned earlier sent me the text of the Dylan Thomas poem Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night.  You should read it.  Go ahead, I'll wait.

So... dreaming big dreams and taking some chances that others might find foolish... it's a kind of raging, if you will.  Raging against the time that slips away, raging against the thieves of joy in our lives, raging against sorrow, loss, and death.

But it's also raging for something.  A raging for the Gospel reality that is to come.  It's a raging to experience something today that gives you hope for tomorrow.  I look at every attempt at experiencing true joy as a kind of participation.  You are participating -- foretasting, really -- something today that you know you will live in in the future.  Now you don't have to go to Europe to do that.  You can practice this kind of raging with a great conversation with a friend, helping someone in need or who is suffering, having a glorious meal, drinking a great glass of wine, and so on.  But... hey, if you can... why not have that conversation and wine with your wife at the foot of the Eiffel Tower!   This kind of raging is attempting to live in the light of at least part of the Kingdom of God right now.  Sitting by the Seine -- next to old, wooden barges -- looking out over Paris while eating a tremendous cheese and drinking a nice Bordeaux... it's like pulling a bit of the future into the present.  It's enjoying a small part of a promise of Jesus' restoration to come... right now.  It's a stick in the eye to all of the forces that conspire daily to destroy what God intended; a reminder of their sure defeat.

So... I'm here to rage.  And this trip is a part of raging together as a family; of teaching our kids to rage.  But raging is not really an out-of-control berserker thing.  It has about it a sense of purpose.  It takes planning.  And sacrifice.  And determinedness in the face of challenges, setbacks, weariness, you own frailties, and all of the naysayers.

I hope that makes at least a little bit of sense, and how it ties into taking chances, and dreaming big dreams.  Life is short (and will be even shorter after you finish this looooong blog post).  Don't wait.  Starting praying, starting talking, start dreaming... and start raging.

Hoping you will rage with us,
Kevin & Kelly



But take heart; I have overcome the world.  ~ John 16:33